It is important to take a step back every now and again and look at a situation. This is my “spider on the wall” approach. If you were a spider on the wall looking down on the situation, what would you observe? How much of the arguing and storytelling is drama that’s not worthy of too much of one’s time and energy? What is the real issue that needs to be addressed?
It is easier to see once the drama is taken away. It usually leaves a much simpler picture and something more straightforward to deal with.